So, after I sent my grandma this awesome picture of my first time voting for president, she sent me this lovely message:
Well now.....I wonder who in the world my sweet granddaughter voted for.......ha Sure a nice picture of you...had a call from your cousin Christy today.....her Navy boy named Jesse had taken her to DeShas on Friday night ( they were all dressed up) and during dessert he had them bring out a delicious chocolate treat....plus a plate with words in chocolate saying 'Will you marry me" The whole restaurant was laughing and clapping......haha Of course she said yes...but will not marry until after they both are out of school in three years.....Looking forward to your visit home.....
So, is it just me, or is it kind of silly that my cousin Christy, a sophomore in college, is engaged? Actually, I think a lot of people would agree. I'm not sure a lot of people would feel the dig at my single-ness that I felt when I read this. I have so many friends who are in serious relationships, engaged, or married... and here I am, very single. In fact, my current single-streak has been the longest I've had since before high school. And for some reason, even though I'm not even 20 and there's no real threat of my ovaries drying up in the next couple of years or my face to develop hag-like wrinkles, I'm starting to have that Sleepless in Seattle fear. "It's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40! "
Why am I afraid of this? I mean, 40 is a whole other lifetime for me, but girls are constantly bombarded with this idea that they must get a man early before all the "good ones" are taken. And, as if that weren't enough, not only do we need to find a guy to date, but we need to find one who we also want to marry. As Erica puts it, junior year at state schools in the Bible belt = "ring by spring." Well, it is October of my junior year, and I probably won't even have gone on an actual date with a guy by spring.
Oh noes! If I don't get married right out of college whatever shall I do? I'm a woman, so it's not like I could get a job and have my own life. I'm made to be connected to a man and take care of him. And my biological clock is ticking and after college all I really want to do is put on an apron and have babies!! Now that I can't do that, my life is ruined! /sarcastic rant
Basically, even though I know that a lot of my friends from home will be married by the time or right after we graduate from college, I'm very glad that I won't be. I'm kind of excited about the fact that my life belongs solely to me, and I can be selfish in my decisions after I graduate. If I want to do Teach for America and live in a low income neighborhood and teach in a low income school, I don't have to worry about where my boyfriend/fiance/husband will work. If I want to spend 2 years in the peace corps. "hugging the world a little tighter," I don't have to worry about what my boyfriend/fiance/husband will think. I won't have to decide not to do these things because I need to stay with him. I know that there are lots of people who get married out of college and make it work, and more power to you. BUT, I know that I enjoy my independence.
If for some reason I get engaged in the next two years, it will be because I believe that is the right decision for my life at that point. But from where I am right now, I don't think that I will be at that point in my life any time soon. I have a lot that I want to do and see in this world, and although I would enjoy having a close friend/ boyfriend to share some of my experiences with, I don't want to be tied down. I know that marriage isn't all about being tied down, but I also know that marriage is a full time job by itself--especially if you're young. And I really don't have time for that now or the summer after graduation... I have jobs to look for. I have books to write. I have a world to see. Marriage isn't high on my list of priorities, and if I can't pencil it in, then I really should just say no.
Not engaged. Hooray! Not dating. Okay. No prospects. I don't have time for them any way...
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