sex? sexy? sexist? : Feminism in a sex-ruled world

A correction

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 04:28:00 +0000

I received a facebook message from the person whose status I wrote about in my post on the Mary statue vandalism and the LGBTQ community. The person informed me that I misconstrued the message. Here is what he said:

"Hi Heather,

I just wanted to let you know that I didn't find out about the statue of Mary's defacement until after I posted my facebook status last week. That status was the result of looking into sex-positive week and seeing events that included porn directors, discussions about sado-masochism, why pornography is good, etc. That's the reason that I changed my status, and that's also the reason that the comment left on my status was what it was.

As far as the statue goes, "the blame game" never entered my mind. My first thoughts were hoping it was someone who wanted to stir up debate or get a reaction. I also thought that if this had happened to the gay community or any other religious community on campus the response would have been very different (such as not taking 4 days to start cleaning the statue). I don't plan on putting anything into my facebook status of importance in the future, but I'd say check with me, or anyone, in the future before assuming what its about.

Thanks for not naming me, I just wanted to clarify things."

Obviously, it was wrong of me to make that assumption, so I replied and let him know that I would let my readers know about my mistake. However, I had a few other things to say about thoughts on sex positive week. Here's my reply:

"I apologize for assuming that your status was about the statue. I saw that you had posted on [other person]'s status about the statue issue to "look at my status," so I assumed that your status was about the same issue. That was wrong on my part.

However, now that i know what your status was actually about, I'm still offended by what the person who commented on your status said. I know that we have very different opinions about sex positivity and the LGBTQ community on campus ("gay community" is a misnomer and also mildly offensive to people who identify as lesbian, bi, transgender, etc.), but I think that opening up a safe space for dialogue about sex and sexuality on campus is healthy and important for students. I know that Georgetown prides itself on being a strong Jesuit institution, but the mission statement says, "the University was founded on the principle that serious and sustained discourse among people of different faiths, cultures, and beliefs promotes intellectual, ethical, and spiritual understanding. We embody this principle in the diversity of our students, faculty, and staff, our commitment to justice and the common good, our intellectual openness, and our international character."
Discourse--that's what sex positive week is about. And while you may wonder where Georgetown's "catholic identity" has gone, I say that Georgetown's Jesuit mission is being played out in the open conversation and flow of ideas happening at sex positive week events.

Once again, I'm sorry that I misconstrued your status, and I will write a new blog post correcting that mistake."

But no matter what the status was about, the underlying theme was an anti-LGBTQ feeling, and that, for me, is the real issue.

Feministing Fame--editor favorites

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:23:00 +0000

Woohoo! I cross-posted my last post about the vandalism of the Mary statue on the Feministing community, and it is linked on the front page as an editor favorite! I'm so proud! The article at feministing is here. Also, I'm being interviewed for The Voice about my feministing article. So, I'll link to that when it comes out! Feel free to high five me in comments. :)

Mary, Blame, and LGBTQ identity

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 03:57:00 +0000

As most readers know, I go to Georgetown University in Washington, DC. Georgetown is a school filled with pride for its Jesuit heritage. Many Jesuits teach classes at Georgetown--often classes with some of the longest wait lists. There is a chaplain-in-residence in every dormitory, and more than one daily mass in the campus chapel. Now as a feminist, I've run into some issues with my school's Jesuit identity, particularly because they do not acknowledge the pro-choice student group on campus as a legitimate campus group; however, I love Georgetown and am proud of its heritage in most situations. Plus, the Jesuits are probably the coolest priests ever.

So, on Friday, it came to the attention of some of the students that an act of vandalism had taken place on campus. A statue of Mary on the front lawn of the school had been defaced. The face of the white stone statue had been painted black. Of course there was a facebook outcry, which I thought was necessary. It's ridiculous, in my opinion, when any school property has been defaced. Georgetown tends to be a very clean campus, and graffiti of any kind is usually cleaned up rather quickly. Two years ago after a very intense basketball game, Pitt students/fans vandalized our campus, and Georgetown quickly took action to remove or cover the graffiti. So, I was very happy to see that there was a public outcry about the vandalism of the Mary statue, because outcry generally leads to action by the University to clean up such things.

But then, the outcry about the ridiculousness of vandalizing the Mary statue became a blame game. One student in his facebook status about the incident asked where the school's Catholic identity had gone. One of his friends quickly replied that it had been "replaced by the gay identity." The first student replied that he couldn't argue, because it was true. Truth? Here's the truth: after multiple "bias-related incidents" last year (I airquote, because I think they should be called hate crimes, not incidents) involving LGBTQ students, one that ended up being taken to court as a hate crime (though later dropped), students rallied for a change. The University, after much debate, decided to create an LGBTQ resource center that would work to aid students and hopefully serve as a deterrent to such crimes. The pope was not so happy with this, and some students, obviously the ones writing this stuff on their facebook, think that because LGBTQ students have a resource center on campus, they are somehow undermining the Catholic students. Because, according to their flawed logic, creating a safe space for LGBTQ students equates to destroying Georgetown's catholic identity, and as such, relates directly to the vandalism in question.

I'm really upset about this. I'm upset that anyone finds it remotely okay to blame an entire people group, to say that people who identify as LGBTQ and allies are the reason that bad things happen at Georgetown. If we just consider historically what has happened when a single people group is blamed for all of the bad things that happen in a country/community, we'll realize how messed up this is. That is, if you didn't already realize that this facebook status and comment pair was completely bigoted and hateful. We're on the verge of sex positive week here on campus-- a week sponsored in part by GU Pride about what it means to be sex positive and about fostering a conversation on campus. And though I don't think it will help the facebook-people in question, I think that some understanding of sex positivity and acceptance is what this campus needs. And the vandalism on Mary, and on facebook, needs to be cleaned up!

You-Me Park is a hero!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:42:00 +0000

So, this semester, as some of you may know, I am taking a class with You-Me Park titled "Labor, Globalization, and Sexuality." I knew that the class would be interesting because all three topics are interesting, but I had no idea that I would really learn so much and make so many connections between feminism and labor.

Let me start by saying that before this class I knew very little (I mean VERY little) about labor and globalization. I mean, I knew what out-sourcing was, and I knew about the sex-slave trade :(, but I really didn't comprehend how much economics powers the movement of people across international borders. Basically, this is one of the only times where I wish I had taken econ or been in the SFS. (Well, of course aside from my lack of econ knowledge making it hard for me to understand exactly what's going on with all of these bailouts and the stimulus package. I'm reading so much and feeling like passing AP Calculus did not prepare me for real life when it comes to math issues.) But understanding how a globalized market dominated by a lot of douchebaggery from our country leads to starvation in the third world is a pretty important and powerful piece of information to have in my back pocket.

Being able to connect the dots and to understand how the global economy affects me and a girl my age in, say, India is interesting. It's also difficult, because reading about how and why illegal workers come to this country (forced often by economic downturn in their own country caused by US policies) and how they are treated here is heart-breaking. I mean, I knew about factory raids and occasional raids on restaurants, hotels, and (rarely) wal-mart that end in deportation, families being ripped apart, etc. Miriam at Feministing has had some great posts about how immigration raids hurt women and families. I think where it gets personal for me is in my hometown and with my relatives who are pro-immigration by Europeans (we have a strong Bulgarian friend-set and my dad spends time there every year), but very anti-immigrants from Mexico and Central or South America. The racist comments spewed by my family members really get to me, because they perpetuate the "us v. them" "othered" stereotype that dehumanizes people who don't fit into the middle-class, hetero-, suburban, white, apple pie eating, American life.

And it's hard for me to talk about this at all, because I know that I come from a place of privelege as a middle-class, suburban, white girl. So, I don't have personal experience with being dehumanized for not fitting the limiting "American citizen" guidelines put out by anti-immigrant activists. But, as a caring human being, I have a hard time even reading through the hateful words and ideas posited by anti-immigrant activists. It's hard for me to comprehend how people can be so full of prejudice and hatred, and how anyone can regard him/herself as "more human" or "more worthy" than another person. Because that's what a lot of these things come down to. A lot of anti-immigrant legislation relies on limiting access to care and benefits for immigrant workers and their families, because anti-immigrant/anti-immigration activists like to say that immigrants use up all of the public service money. And of course, according to anti-immigrant activists, only "citizens" are "worthy" of using resources and immigrants are "not worthy" of such things. Legislation includes limiting access to healthcare and education. But, happily, President Obama signed the Children's Health Initiative into law earlier this month, which included an act to cut out the 5 year waiting period on access to healthcare for immigrant children and pregnant women. Woo. Now we just need to cut out that waiting period for all immigrants. And cut out all of the other ridiculous legislation that limits immigrant rights in our country. And stop the cycle of powerlessness for undocumented workers or workers on "nanny visas." Oh my, there's a lot to do. But Professor Park is always reminding us that even though as scholars we attack these things in a theoretical way, we have to get in there as activists and do what we can to work now at reaching our overall theoretical goals in the future.

I'm just so energized and ready for activism after doing readings for this class, that I felt like it was a good time to share. So, I'm looking at some Social Justice Internships for this summer. :) Please leave comments if you have any questions (I know this post is mostly stream-of-consciousness, which might be confusing) or if you have thoughts on labor, sexuality, and/or globalization.

Also, interesting reading material that deals with immigrant workers in the US:
Disposable Domestics by Grace Chang

Vagina Monologues

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:33:00 +0000

Vagina Monologues is this weekend!

I am performing in the monologue "Crooked Braid," which is about woman in the Oglala Lakota Nation on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. According to the opening of the piece, the average annual rate of rape and sexual assault among Native American women is 3.5 times higher than all other races. 3.5!!!

"Crooked Braid," in our cast, is performed by 5 people, all telling a different part of the story. My part is empowering, and I'm very grateful for that, but other people's parts are heart-wrenching. And some of the other monologues like "Hey, Miss Pat" and "My Vagina was my Village" make me cry every time I hear them. I'm really excited for the performances and am so glad to be a part of this.

Also, I finally told my dad about it. He actually was speechless for a minute (a first for him), but then he was just like "okay, what is that??" When I explained what it was, he changed the subject. We haven't talked about it since. I still haven't told my mom. She just isn't really okay with being open about sexuality in any way--especially about saying vagina in public, but I'm going to tell her before Friday. My sister is cool with it, although she did ask me very candidly if I was a lesbian. I replied "No, I'm not a lesbian, but I don't see a problem with it either way." I think my entire family would understand my pro-gay rights stance more if I were a lesbian, because they don't seem to understand that I don't have to identify as a lesbian to be pro civil rights. What do people not get about believing that All ~~men~~ HUMANS are created equal?

Okay, so that was a bit of a rant. Sorry. But the main point-- Come see Vagina Monologues this weekend! Friday's show is sold out already, but I'm performing Sunday as well. Or come support the other cast on Thursday night or Saturday night!

Get pumped!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 04:00:00 +0000

So, I don't have a lot of time to write tonight, because I have some homework left to do for my 10:15 tomorrow. But, I wanted to let you know some of the fun stuff you have to look forward to in the coming weeks.

1. I just finished reading "Full-Frontal Feminism" by Jessica Valenti. It's an amazing book about why feminism is still alive and important today. Erica is reading it now, and when she's done, I think a team book review will be happening. Woo!

2. I had my first rehearsal for "The Vagina Monologues" today. The play, written by Eve Ensler, is all about women's empowerment. Proceeds from the play go to Eve Ensler's foundation, V-Day, that works to end violence against women and girls around the world. So, as the show gets closer, there will be updates about that. I don't want to give too much away, because I want my friends to be excited to come see the show. If you haven't seen it and aren't in the Georgetown area, go to the V-Day website and you can search for a show near you. Performances are always around V-day--valentine's day. And what better way to celebrate the holiday than to see a play about vaginas? Also, I need to come up with what my vagina would say if it could talk and what my vagina would wear if it got dressed, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know.

3. I am taking 2 women's and gender studies classes this semester. One, titled "Cultural Constructions: Motherhood" actually is an upper-level English but was cross-posted under the Women and Gender Studies heading. The class is about cultural influences on modern (50s to present) motherhood. I'm really excited about the class because the professors are engaging and I can tell that there will be a lot of strong discussion and debate. I'm also a bit nervous though, because this will be my first encounter with feminist theory as opposed to feminist practice. Practice is easy, but theory can get pretty crazy, so there will be updates on this as I go along. My other class is "Labor, Globalization, Sexuality." We'll be discussing social justice, equality, and violence prevention in terms of labor, globalization, and (you guessed it) sexuality. Erica and I are taking this class together (yay for fun feminist classes), and will hopefully be rocking it. *fingers crossed* So, there will be updates, questions, and thoughts about the classes posted on here. Woo!

4. I'm hoping to start "Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape" this week. The book is a collection of essays edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti. They'll be at Busboys and Poets here in DC on February 5th to talk about the book, so I'm hoping to finish it by then. I've seen Jessica speak before (she was at Georgetown last year during the United Feminists week), and she is amazing. I'm absolutely in awe of her-- she kicks so much ass! So, there will definitely be a happy "OMG, Jessica Valenti rocks!" post after Feb. 5th.

So, there's some stuff to look forward to. Now I'm off to critique Walt Whitman, which is a daunting task!!

Happy New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 03:06:00 +0000

Hey "sex? sexy? sexist?" readers! I've failed miserably at sticking to this blogging thing, but for the New Year my plan is to write at least one blog per week. So, stay tuned for some awesome feminist blogging.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's none of your business...

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:46:00 +0000

So, basically, girls need to stop calling girls names because of their sexuality. Do you know how many names there are for a "promiscuous" girl that are used with a negative connotation? Slut, whore, ho, trick, etc.--- the list goes on and on. Women need to stop hating on other women. Yeah, that girl in your bio class may be known as "easy"--but calling her a slut is not cool. We get angry about the double standards about sex in our culture. Society tells us that girls who have premarital sex are dirty, bad, easy, etc. On the other hand, they tell us that boys who have premarital sex are experimenting, becoming men, just being boys, etc. So, sexuality is made into a male phenomenon that women are excluded from. If women are sexual, something is wrong and they aren't "good."

Obviously, as feminists, we know that this is a skewed view, one that we are working vigilantly to tear down. But every time a woman says of another woman, "Oh, she's a slut," it reinforces the idea that a woman's sexuality is bad. So, if I wanna take a guy home with me tonight--it's none of your business. And if you wanna take a guy home with you tonight--it's none of my business. Stop perpetuating the double standards, ladies!!

<3--Heather

Not married, Not engaged. Not dating. No prospects... Oh Noes!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 22:32:00 +0000

So, after I sent my grandma this awesome picture of my first time voting for president, she sent me this lovely message:

Well now.....I wonder who in the world my sweet granddaughter voted for.......ha Sure a nice picture of you...had a call from your cousin Christy today.....her Navy boy named Jesse had taken her to DeShas on Friday night ( they were all dressed up) and during dessert he had them bring out a delicious chocolate treat....plus a plate with words in chocolate saying 'Will you marry me" The whole restaurant was laughing and clapping......haha Of course she said yes...but will not marry until after they both are out of school in three years.....Looking forward to your visit home.....

So, is it just me, or is it kind of silly that my cousin Christy, a sophomore in college, is engaged? Actually, I think a lot of people would agree. I'm not sure a lot of people would feel the dig at my single-ness that I felt when I read this. I have so many friends who are in serious relationships, engaged, or married... and here I am, very single. In fact, my current single-streak has been the longest I've had since before high school. And for some reason, even though I'm not even 20 and there's no real threat of my ovaries drying up in the next couple of years or my face to develop hag-like wrinkles, I'm starting to have that Sleepless in Seattle fear. "It's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40! "

Why am I afraid of this? I mean, 40 is a whole other lifetime for me, but girls are constantly bombarded with this idea that they must get a man early before all the "good ones" are taken. And, as if that weren't enough, not only do we need to find a guy to date, but we need to find one who we also want to marry. As Erica puts it, junior year at state schools in the Bible belt = "ring by spring." Well, it is October of my junior year, and I probably won't even have gone on an actual date with a guy by spring.

Oh noes! If I don't get married right out of college whatever shall I do? I'm a woman, so it's not like I could get a job and have my own life. I'm made to be connected to a man and take care of him. And my biological clock is ticking and after college all I really want to do is put on an apron and have babies!! Now that I can't do that, my life is ruined! /sarcastic rant

Basically, even though I know that a lot of my friends from home will be married by the time or right after we graduate from college, I'm very glad that I won't be. I'm kind of excited about the fact that my life belongs solely to me, and I can be selfish in my decisions after I graduate. If I want to do Teach for America and live in a low income neighborhood and teach in a low income school, I don't have to worry about where my boyfriend/fiance/husband will work. If I want to spend 2 years in the peace corps. "hugging the world a little tighter," I don't have to worry about what my boyfriend/fiance/husband will think. I won't have to decide not to do these things because I need to stay with him. I know that there are lots of people who get married out of college and make it work, and more power to you. BUT, I know that I enjoy my independence.

If for some reason I get engaged in the next two years, it will be because I believe that is the right decision for my life at that point. But from where I am right now, I don't think that I will be at that point in my life any time soon. I have a lot that I want to do and see in this world, and although I would enjoy having a close friend/ boyfriend to share some of my experiences with, I don't want to be tied down. I know that marriage isn't all about being tied down, but I also know that marriage is a full time job by itself--especially if you're young. And I really don't have time for that now or the summer after graduation... I have jobs to look for. I have books to write. I have a world to see. Marriage isn't high on my list of priorities, and if I can't pencil it in, then I really should just say no.

Not engaged. Hooray! Not dating. Okay. No prospects. I don't have time for them any way...

Sarah Palin is not a Feminist!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 03:19:00 +0000

I've been watching Katie Couric's interview with Sarah Palin sporadically over the past few days, and each new tidbit worries me a little bit more. Take a look.

Sarah Palin is not a feminist. She may be a woman, but she is not a woman's candidate. Her policies will do nothing to help women, and her running mate John McCain actually voted against a fair pay act that would insure that women receive equal pay for equal work. So, the equal rights and opportunities she touts at the beginning of this video are a bunch of bologna! She also has choice completely wrong. Women have a choice when it comes to their bodies. Sarah Palin's friend didn't "choose" to be gay any more than I chose to be straight. The American Psychological Association says "most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation." Sarah Palin just doesn't understand decisions... which is probably why she can't make one in this next clip. Then again, she might just not know the names of any other major Supreme Court cases...

Sarah Palin wants to overturn Roe v. Wade and make it a state decision. Really, Sarah? Kind of like how charging women for rape kits was your decision as mayor of Wasilla? Or how the religious right has added anti-choice initiatives to the ballots of South Dakota and Colorado. These initiatives will not just prevent a woman from choosing to have an abortion, but include measures that could ban birth control such as the Pill or IUDs! This is scary stuff! If Sarah Palin were a woman's candidate, she would be aware of these initiatives and be speaking out against them. Instead, she fails to look out for women's rights.

Sarah Palin's Feminist Points: 0

Hey! Who's the New Girl?

noreply@blogger.com (Erica) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:40:00 +0000

Hello all!

As Heather said below, I'm Erica and I’ll be adding my superpowers to the Feminist Dream Team. That’s right, we’re now officially going blog-steady! Get ready, Patriarchy, you’re going down, but not before I introduce myself.

I am: a feminist, unabashedly pro-choice, a political junkie, a student, a woman, and damn proud of all of it.

Given the political junkie in me, I’ll be blogging a lot on the intersection of politics and feminism/sexism. Yeah, I’ll focus a lot on why you should care about politics if you are a woman…even if you are an anti-choice, un-feminist woman…even if you are Phyllis Schlafly. The fact of the matter is the next president will likely appoint 2 – 3 Supreme Court justices, and the Supreme Court is making a lot of 5 – 4 decisions. So regardless of whether or not you think Roe vs. Wade should stay in place, the identity of the next president should matter to you…a lot. But more on this later.

I’ll also spend a good deal of time on patriarchy and the media as they are two of my favorite things in the world verbally smackdown. And yes, they are very connected. In today’s 24 hr news cycle, media permeates everything country, the media is often one of the most important means of keeping the patriarchy alive. Everywhere you look, you see the promotion of patriarchal feminine ideals in movies, music, books, and even the “objective” news media, especially with regard to the virgin/whore dichotomy. Not only does it lead to a society in which women cannot (as opposed to have not) achieve true egalitarianism, it has a devastating effect on the mental health of women across the country. It ain’t right, friends. But once again, I’ll get back to this in a later post.

Anyhoo, I’m glad to be here and hope we can have some great conversations.

See you in the next post,

Erica

Feminist Dream Team

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 02:47:00 +0000

Introducing: ERICA!! My lovely friend has decided to join me in my blogging endeavors. So, watch out, because we are the Feminist Dream Team. We will lay a smackdown on sexism in the media. We will pulverize the patriarchal model of society. We will attack the idiocies of abstinence-only sex education. We will abolish the anti-choicers. We will viscerate the victim-blamers. And when we're finished, we will dance the feminist dream team dance. Hooray! (NOTE: All of this, apart from the dancing, will be done through words, not actions, of course. We do not actually want to disembowel people!!!)

I am pro-choice.

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 19:29:00 +0000

After my last post, one of my friends told me I was being a bit too serious. The above clip of Nancy Keenan, president of NARAL Pro-Choice America, explaining what it means to be pro-choice is pretty serious, but also so well-worded. Choice is not just about abortion rights. It's also not just about handing out condoms on campus. Choice is about giving women access to information and care as well as supporting them in the decisions that they make regarding reproduction.

This is one of my favorite Bill Clinton moments. Pro-life hecklers came to one of his wife's campaign rallies, and he told them that criminalizing women and their doctors is absolutely ridiculous. Yay Bill! Bill Clinton = pro-choice!!

And of course, no pro-choice post is complete without a little bit of George Carlin. He was such an amazing comedian!! "They're not pro-life, they're anti-woman..."

I'm not the only one

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 08:49:00 +0000

September is rape awareness month. I was talking with my friend Erica tonight about rape, feminism, and society. We were talking about how 1 of every 6 American women has been the victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime. We were talking about how we live in a rape-culture. Sometimes, as Melissa at Shakesville was told, rape is seen as a "compliment," only bestowed upon women who men want to fuck. I cannot understand how forcing yourself upon someone who does not want to have sex with you is ever a compliment. "That's a nice dress," is a compliment. "That's a nice dress. Let me take it off of you and force my penis into your vagina against your will," is NOT a compliment, ever! Rape is not about complimenting women, it is about asserting control over them. It is about making the victim feel completely weak and powerless.

Rape is also not about love! One of my friends gave me a cd by Ludo with a song called "The Horror of Our Love." The song is about a man raping, murdering, and eating the body of a woman whom he "loves." He sings about how he'll "Hold you down and tear you open," but says "Love I'd never hurt you." Obviously, this example is extreme, but when bands can sing about love involving rape, murder, and cannibalism, we have to realize that some people are making the mistake of equating love with rape and/or violence. My theatre teacher told the class about the scariest interpretation of "love" she had ever seen. She was walking down the street and saw a man beating his wife with a 2X4 and screaming, "Bitch, I love you! Why do you make me do this to you? I love you!" And when we live in a society where people believe that rape and violence are acts of love, we end with the 1 in 6 statistic.

Another thing that rape never is: deserved. No one "deserves" to be raped. No one is "asking for it." I'm reminded of Eve Ensler's "Vagina Monologues"-- particularly "My Short Skirt."

It is not an invitation
a provocation
an indication
that I want it
or give it
or that I hook.

I am a feminist who is sexually aware. I table for H*yas for Choice every week and give out condoms. I give out information about birth control. This does not mean that I "want it." It certainly doesn't mean that if I'm walking on campus late at night, you can recognize me as the H*yas for Choice girl and expect me to have sex with you. Some people think, and may even say of a victim, "Hey, that girl is promiscuous, so she must have been asking for it," or "Hey, that girl has had sex before, so she can't be raped."

A judge in Georgia actually required a girl who was date-raped to provide a list of all of the people she had been sexually active with, and ruled that she had not been raped, "in part because, as all that testimony showed, she was not a virgin." Sexual history does not make a girl "deserve it" or "want it." There's something called consent, and if there isn't consent-- it is rape! The clothes a girl wears, birth control she takes, or sex that she has had in the past, do not constitute consent. If she's drunk, drugged, or passed out, that is not consent. And if she says yes, then later says no, consent has ended. Continuing to have sex with a girl after she says "no" or "stop" is rape.

Rape and sexual assault are far too prevalent in our society, largely because people fail to realize that rape is not a compliment or act of love, and that no one "wants" or "deserves" to be sexually assaulted. I have friends and family members who have been raped and/or sexually assaulted. With statistics like 1 in 6, the odds are that you know someone who has been raped or sexually assaulted as well. Think about it, and pass along the awareness. Rape is one of the things our society could definitely do without.

Getting to Know you, Getting to know all about you...

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 04:45:00 +0000

So, I figure I should start my blog with a little bit of background info about myself and what this blog will hopefully be about.

First of all, my name is Heather. I am a junior at Georgetown University in Washington, DC. I am on the board of H*yas for Choice, the student-run pro-choice, pro-reproductive rights group on campus. We are the only distributors of condoms on campus, as well as one of the only safe sites to receive information about contraception (the student health center refuses to prescribe birth control for contraceptive purposes). One of my hot-button issues is access to affordable birth control. (More on that in posts to come). Basically, I am pro-choice and believe that women have the right to make decisions about their bodies.

I am also a feminist. I feel like by saying that, I have automatically turned some people away from this blog. Many people don't understand why feminism exists today, or think that feminists are all bra-burning man-haters. Yeah, there are definitely some guys out there who don't get much love or respect from me. Take, for example, some of the guys from my high school who told me that because I have a uterus and could possibly one day give birth, I am an unreliable worker, a vulnerability to any company, and as such I should be paid $0.77 to a man's $1. Those guys, well, they get a bit of hate from me. But other men, like the guys on the board of H*yas for Choice, get a definite two thumbs way up for being cool.

But it's not about divvying up guys into the "hated" and "loved" categories. Feminism is about realizing that there is a definite disparity between men's rights and women's rights, and wanting to close that gap. The truth is that women in the US make $0.77 to a man's $1. proof here The truth is that women who run for political office (think Hillary and Sarah Palin) have their sexuality, motherhood, and femininity questioned, while male politicians are asked about their policies. For example, Donny Deutsch's thoughts on Sarah Palin as a"product" and sex object. The truth is that one in six women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime, and only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. Stats here The truth is that when it comes to our society's perception of teen pregnancy (embodied by Juno), her dad "thought she was the kind of girl who knew when to say when," but didn't know Paulie Bleeker "had it in him." Silly Juno! Sex is for guys to want and girls to say "no" to! Of course, I could go on, but hopefully you understand that I think sexism is an issue that we need to be aware of and fight against.

I hope this gives you a basic overview of my ideas and where I'm coming from with this blog. Questions? Concerns? Please leave them in comments.